What is SPD?

I feel the need to include a disclaimer here: I am not a therapist, occupational therapist, or doctor. The descriptions that follow are simply my observations and conclusions that I have acquired through books, websites, and my own occupational therapist.

So, then, what is Sensory Processing Disorder?

Contrary to the beliefs of many people I have known, I am not crazy, bipolar, or schizophrenic. I do not have ADD or OCD. This is NOT a psychological condition, it is a neurological disorder. This disorder is frequently misdiagnosed, in children and adults, because it is not yet published in any manuals, such as the DSM-IV. It is also difficult to diagnose because it is often comorbid to a primary disorder, such as Autism, Asperger's, and Attention Deficit Disorder. I only suffer from SPD, though the effects of the disorder first caused an anxiety disorder, and depression later on. From what I understand, that is not uncommon.

To understand what this disorder is, a discussion of normal sensory processing is in order. Sensory processing involves several steps. A person will look at a bird, and the image of the bird is transmitted to the brain, and then the person conciously registers that they are looking at a bird. The same applies to all of our senses. Our bodies take in the sensory information and the brain proccesses it. At every moment of every day, every person is bombarded with sensory input. Therefore, the brain filters out anything that is irrelevant; for instance, the color of the house you just drove past, or the whirr of the ceiling fan. The brain draws your attention to what it deems important; for example, the car in front of you hitting their brakes, or your boss giving you instructions. There is simply too much sensory input for us to consciously process, so our brains quietly do the work in the background, and we only are only conscious of what it deems relevant. This is how the brain is supposed to work.

For a person with Sensory Processing Disorder, the process is a little different. Our brains take in the sensory information, and somehow it gets garbled on the way to our conscious thoughts. We take in the sensory information, and our brains don't properly determine what is relevant input and what isn't. Let's say you're in a conference room with your boss. You really really want to pay attention to what they are telling you, but all you hear is the loud whirring of the fan, or see your coworker jiggling their foot, or the sound of pages of paper being turned. Sensory "triggers" and the degree to which they affect a person are different for everyone, but the concept is the same. The brain determines that ordinarily irrelevant input is important, and brings it to the front of our consciousness, so that we can't ignore it. Unfortunately, this makes it very difficult for us to pay attention to what actually is important, and then the brain has another reaction.

It floods your system with adrenaline. These irrelevant sensory inputs are so distracting, they can be even physically painful, and your body goes into its primal fight-or-flight mode. Some children get into trouble for causing fights in school due to their inability to understand why they feel that way. If I am in an extremely uncomfortable position, I must GET OUT RIGHT NOW. Or I may do something I regret to stop the offending sensory input. I have found a way to escape without physically leaving; foam earplugs. They are amazing for shopping, and helped me focus on tests in school. I also rejoiced the day I got an iPod, because they are socially acceptable ways to remove yourself from the outside world. I went to college in Chicago, which has a fantastic public transportation system, and half the people on the trains and buses were listening to their iPods. It was the only way I was able to use that transportation. (Hence, the title of my blog.) Unfortunately, sometimes escape is not an option. Sometimes you are conversing with someone who is talking so loudly it makes your ears hurt, or you are in a room with bright flickering lights that give you a migraine and make you want to scream. Again, it is different for everyone.

SPD is not a chemical or hormonal problem in your brain. I like to say it's a wiring problem. Due to this, psychiatric medications or traditional forms of treatment do not affect SPD. The only drugs that make a difference are benzodiazepines, but they are a crutch to be used when in sensory overload. I used to have a prescription for Valium for when sensory overload sent me into a panic attack. However, it was not an answer to the problem, it was a bandaid for the side effects. It calmed me down, but still did not help reduce my reactions to my sensitivities. The only real answer is occupational therapy. Unfortuately, most OTs do not usually work with adults, and don't really know what to do with them in therapy. It took me three years and three OTs to find one that managed to get through to me (she was a godsend), and dozens upon dozens of rejection phone calls in between.

I am not saying that psychiatric drugs have no value in a course of treatment. While medications will not help SPD, they are extremely useful in treating emotional and psychiatric side effects of the condition. As I said, I have an anxiety disorder and a previously debilitating depression, which were a result of my sensory defensiveness. Occupational therapy does not treat those. My current "cocktail" is 75 mg of Zoloft, 1/2 mg Risperdal, and 2 mg Klonopin daily. I was in a deep dark hole and couldn't climb out, and my occupational therapy was only helping minimally. I finally admitted that I needed some chemical help, and now I am no longer a couch potato (well, not all the time). I have the motivation to get out of bed in the morning and do something productive with my day, and without my medications, I doubt I would be making the progress I am now. My talk therapist put it this way: I was stuck in a dark closet and I couldn't open the door.These drugs would help me push the door open, even just a crack, so that I could see that sliver of light outside and push my way out of that closet of depression. He was right. My progress in my occupational therapy and my personal life increased dramatically after a month on the meds. I have no intention of taking them forever, but I am willing to admit that I need them now, and will wean myself off of them (with my psychiatrist's supervision) when I feel I am ready. Whether it is 2 months from now or 2 years from now, I know these medications played a huge role in my ability to save myself, and I fully appreciate them for that.

So I have my daily "cocktail" and I also have my daily sensory diet, on which I will elaborate in another post.

I am putting my condition and my life out on the internet for all to see, and while I was nervous at first, I know I have already touched one life, perhaps more, and this just fuels my fervor to continue this blog and continue spreading the word about SPD. So please, click follow on the right side, and pass this blog on. I also hope that friends and family of those who suffer from this condition will read, so that they may better understand what we go through every day.